Date Everything’s premise is nothing short of classic. You find yourself in the possession of a pair of super special sunglasses, which have the ability to tint your world a rosy pink – oh and yes, the ability to personify every one of the one hundred objects in your house.
As this is a dating sim, the objects you meet as people are all charming individuals, and most of them are some manner of hot or cute. So step aside, monster-lovers, we’re already onto the next frontier now.
What’s your type… of object?
Date Everything may let you date a hundred characters, but it simply could not have worked without its ridiculous conceit. Every object-person you meet has a unique personality that is largely informed by the characteristics of the object itself. The coffee table is a burly cowboy with an old-fashioned idea of romance, the lamp is a vain and obnoxious influencer, the TV is a relentlessly hyper showman, and the air fryer is a… friar who preaches against oil.
The reason Date Everything works as well as it does is that it’s thoroughly self-aware. Right from the get-go, the game’s dialog options are packed with sass, sarcasm, and humor. This almost meta flippancy, which could be a mood-killer in most dating sims, proves to be the game’s shining star. It’s a silly premise, and so you’re given free rein to sound silly, sardonic, horny, or some combination of these.
Falling in love, making friends, and fostering hate
The game’s playthrough stretches into several tens of hours as you get to know the vibrant characters and form relationships with them, choosing to slide into love, friendship, or hate with each of them.
All of this is structured well – you can only talk to five different objects through one in-game day, after which you must sleep and reset your charges. The approach forces you to get to know a variety of objects, rather than honing in your favorite one or two.
It’s astounding how much depth Sassy Chap Games has managed to pack into its debut game. Writing half a dozen romance paths for a dating sim is one thing, but accounting for three paths each for over a hundred characters? It’s an astounding labor of love and dedication for what might sound like a joke of a premise.
Don’t forget that every character has their own voice actor. The performances are best-in-the-business class and the game would certainly have been much, much poorer without its diverse and enthusiastic voice cast. It’s far more than committing to the bit – these voice actors are fully into the characters they’re voicing.
When your alarm clock is a tsundere
For me, the greatest joy of Date Everything was discovering new characters. Every time I began shooting my love beam at an object in Date Everything, I felt a titillation as I wondered what they might possibly be like. Then, when they appeared on the screen and I got to know them, I slowly came to connect their tics and personalities to the object they represented.
It’s delightfully creative stuff, and I found it jogging my imagination with the objects in my real life.
The outlandish premise isn’t the only unorthodox thing about Date Everything. Rather than having you following a linear story, the game lets you play in its sandbox for as long as conceivably possible, requiring you get to know every character before closing the game out. As such, the game lasts dozens of hours, and is not one for those who’d like a quick kiss with the cardboard box before bowing out.
No really, you have to Date Everything
Where you’ll fall with Date Everything depends on several things, but it bears repeating that this is no quick casual fling – it’s quite the commitment of a dating sim and invites veteran romancers most of all. The creativity and performances on show are not to be missed.
If you found yourself wondering how the game’s premise could possibly be pulled off, here’s the facts – the mad lads at Sassy Chap really did it. They really did pull it off.
Developer: Sassy Chap Games
Country of Origin: United States
Publisher: Team17
Release Date: June 17, 2025 (PC, PS5, Xbox Series X/S, Switch, Switch 2)
The PC version of the game was played for this review of Date Everything!.
Thank you for reading our review of Date Everything.
For more interesting articles about indie games, be sure to check out the links below.
- Into Indie Games Homepage
- The Alters Walkthrough
- Duck Detective: The Ghost of Glamping Walkthrough
- The Precinct Review
- Preview: Leila – Into an Everyday Woman’s Psyche
